Category Archives: Friends

I was cashing out this guy named Daniel who also works at my store.

He was wearing a big security jacket and telling me about his other job.

“All I do is ride the elevator and ask people what floor they have to go to.”

I asked him why a security guard has to do that. He said it’s because they’re doing construction in one part of the building and he has to keep people from going there.

“It’s horrible. I never see outside.”

Marija, ok I was lying down on my bed

kinda like how am I now, ok exactly how I am now because I haven’t moved and it was the last pistachio in the bag that I had to buy with stolen money, only 3 dollars and I had to crack it open with my teeth because it had absolutely no opening and when I opened it, it had no pistachio in it and I’m like the fuck… damnit. I looked around a little bit as much as my body would let me and then gave up. I watched that One Direction video you sent me. And then…I found the last pistachio in my hair. Tucked under my layers of hair, just north of my left boob. I was equal parts surprised and happy. So I ate it and then quickly came to your wall to tell you about it.

Marija. I ate the dairy.

Did you know that asiago and artichoke dip has dairy in it? My stomach knows. I thought I was being healthy. I thought I was eating vegetables. The packaging is green! What’s asiago anyway? Did I spell that right? Is it a vegetable? A flavour? I didn’t even eat it once. I ate it again the next day. And the day after that. Why do I do things that I know will hurt me? I need to be stopped. I am an animal. It just tasted so good.

Marija… remind me to never cut my own hair again.

I just looked at all my photos and I always have some kind of fucked up hair because I have a fucked up haircut. Because I decided to cut my own fucking hair. Wonky bangs all over the damn place. I need to be at a place in life where I don’t have fucked up hair.

Marija I have to tell you something funny.

One time it was late at night, kind of like now, and I was listening to music with my headphones on, kind of like now, and I guess I really got into whatever I was listening to because I started singing and I guess kind of loudly because my parents started yelling at me to shut up from their room next door. I thought they were sleeping. They weren’t. They were listening to me sing.